i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
