I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My penis needs a shock collar
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
