my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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