OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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