Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is wine microwaveable?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I need a beard to bite.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
