What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
