hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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