my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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