scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
