I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Sober January is a disaster.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
