I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
