Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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