So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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