yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
