i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the liver wants what the liver wants
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
