I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
