i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
