Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
