It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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