i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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