dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
