who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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