I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
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It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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