can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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