I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I am available for nakedness
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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