hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think your dad took our porno
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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