Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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