I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
