dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
