We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
