so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
