Everything about him screamed your future.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
