I've blown a few things in my day
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
