you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
