i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
