Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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