Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Randomize
