I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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