it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
