Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Barsexuality is the new black.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
