Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
