She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
