Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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