so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
