Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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