I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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