How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
