i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
