I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
