the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this will be a night to untag.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
