I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
