my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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