i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
