you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
