you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
