We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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