these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
