I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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