Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my shit smells like andre
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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