We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize