I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
